Be a Man
by Eve-the-Charlotte
Summary: "Neville Longbottom was a nice, calm man."  Just don't mess with Luna Lovegood!  Neville/Luna


_Be a Man _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Pairing: Neville/Luna; mentions a bit of past ?/Luna

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, for I am not a forty-something year old Scottish woman named Joanne K. Rowling.

I've only written two other Harry Potter stories, but I noticed they were a bit dark and a tad on the depressing side, so now I wrote a non-dark, non-depressing story that involves everyone's favorite cowardly Gryffindor, Neville Longbottom. And it's Neville/Luna, which makes me happy and should make you, the reader, happy as well. Anyways, enjoy!

&GryffindorSide&

Normally, Neville Longbottom was a nice, calm man. He was rather shy and very quiet, only shedding that side after a few stiff pints and the company of his friends, the people who were his only family aside from his Gran, who was still alive and kicking at 91 years of age. As years had passed, Neville had grown a tad more assertive, but he was still quite a lot less than the other boys who were in Gryffindor house with him during his school years. However, Neville didn't mind this, as he got beat up less and kicked out of drinking establishments fewer times than Seamus or Ron, or even Harry or Dean. Though, only one thing brought out what his mates referred to as his "Manly Man Scary Mad Gryffindor Side," and that was his wife of four and a quarter years, Luna. Or, rather, how people liked to treat his Luna.

This side of Neville had first come out during his seventh year, Luna's sixth year, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. "The Incident," as the episode was called, was during a Dark Arts class (the defense portion was dropped under the instruction of Amycus Carrow, the Death Eater bastard), during which the students were expected to perform the Cruciatus Curse on each other. Neville, having grown a backbone that even _he_ knew he was lacking, as well as several other old members of the DA refused to participate in the lesson. Professor Carrow then smiled a nasty smile (seriously, the man's teeth were rotting and his breath reeked like rotten eggs and burnt earwax) and beckoned Pansy Parkinson over. The bulldog-faced girl eagerly went forward, obviously wishing to impress her newest teacher. Carrow then ordered her to pick the student the girl believed would benefit the most from the curse. Pansy looked around the room before locking eyes with Neville with a certain gleam in her eyes that gave Neville the knowledge that she _knew_ about him and Luna. The Slytherin grinned wildly before turning to Luna and shouting, "_Crucio_!"

Luna Lovegood, who had been sitting innocently on the edge of her desk, reading her copy of _The Quibbler_ upside-down, had obviously been paying not the slightest bit of attention to the class and thus was completely taken by surprise the curse and its power. She began to scream with an inhuman sound, howling in pain. Neville didn't think about what he did next; for once, the wizard just did. He shot a Conjunctivitis Curse at Pansy, whose enraged shriek proved he had landed a perfect hit before using a Shield Charm on himself, the DA, and Luna. "The Incident" had earned the Gryffindor one of the Carrows' infamous "detentions" (if you could call those torture sessions by such a tame name), but Professor Carrow had learned to not use magic to hurt Luna in Neville's presence.

A few similar incidents had happened during the War and also some time afterwards, but, by then, most of the Wizarding World knew not to mess with Luna Lovegood Longbottom, not with her husband around. Of course, the goons who were bent on messing with Luna outside Madam Malkin's didn't seem to realize this little tidbit. The bird had walked right into these three fine young men and had only breathed an airy "Excuse me" before walking on. According to the leader of this pack of morons, a tall man with a rather nasty-looking scar stretching from the corner of his eye to the base of his throat (he claimed that it was from taking down a werewolf during the War, but it was actually from his scary jealous ex-girlfriend, an American witch with an excellent aim), decided that the crazy-looking bitch wasn't showing him and his mates enough respect (they thought they were an outstanding bunch of blokes).

The scarred leader raised his wand, a "_Locomotor mortis_" on the tip of his tongue, when a large hand clamped down on his shoulder, hard. The punk repressed the sounds of pain that were bubbling in his throat (this bloke behind him was _strong_, damnit!) and turned to see what sort of tosser was interrupting his small revenge. He came face-to-face or, rather, face-to-chest with a dark haired bloke who was about a head and a half taller than the leader with a rather scary look in his hazel brown eyes. No matter how much the punk willed against it, his face must have shown his fear, as the taller man smirked and said in a silky, far too casual tone, "Now what's a bloke like you doing, trying to hurt my _wife_," the dark-haired man stressed the last word darkly, eyes hardening.

The leader couldn't keep down a small gulp at the man's words as, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his mates run off to avoid a face-off with the pissed off wizard. Honestly, at this point, the scarred punk couldn't blame them a tick. The taller wizard was about to use his wand to give this insect a taste of his own medicine when a musical voice said, "Neville, darling, I've been looking for you everywhere. I was looking at a whole swarm of wrackspurts that were surrounding this girl's head. I tried to tell her, but she must not have heard me. Or ignored me, either one. Then I got a bit lost, you see, but now I've found you!"

The punk and the man both turned toward the speaker, who turned out to be the crazy-looking bird (who might have been as crazy as she appeared), the scary man's wife. The dark-haired man, Neville, leaned down and whispered, "Run," into the punk's ear. Said punk immediately did so without a moment of hesitation. Neville then turned and dropped a kiss on Luna's forehead, now that that punk was out of the way and obviously not coming back. Luna smiled dreamily at her husband, knowing what the man had been doing but wisely not mentioning a thing, lest Neville dwell on the matter anymore. She had been sorted into Ravenclaw for a reason, you know. Luna instead wrapped her still very thin arms around her belly and stated, "I think the baby is going to start kicking soon. I remember Lorcan and Lysander did so around this time now."

Neville smiled happily at the thought of feeling his little boy soon enough. Truly, Neville, Jr. would make a perfect addition to his family (currently just his wife and two adopted sons, Luna's children from her first, rather unsuccessful, marriage, and an assortment of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles in the form of his friends and his Gran, of course). The couple made their way down Diagon Alley, on their way now to visit Fred and George's shop, Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, to pick up Lorcan and Lysander from their babysitters. Neville didn't want to know what those two had been up to, but, as he stopped and stooped down to peck his wife on the lips, Neville Longbottom couldn't help but feel happy. Being with his love just had that effect on the Gryffindor.

Normally, Neville Longbottom was a nice, calm man. Fuck with his wife, though, and he'll hex your balls off.

&GryffindorSide&

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